Let Me Dance With Him First

I flipped through the pages of last year's school notebook, the one I'd used while taking my leadership course. Filled with spatterings of my thoughts after listening to interviews and reading book segments, there was one sentence that stood out. I still remember writing it down, how there is a time to focus on preparation, that in this season of teen-to-young-adulthood,"you're preparing for all three seasons" of the rest of your life.

You don't ever have to be bored or discontented, knowing that what you're doing now is preparing you for life ahead.

As a toddler I cuddled dolls,  "played house",  "cooked" and nurtured the motherly heart that was beating in my little child's ribcage. Obviously, those feelings and desires to be married, have a family, and make a home, only grew stronger over the years. And so you can see how easy it could be for one to become discontent when one is in between; floating, it seems, in the time between child and woman, or even between woman and what is considered "grown-up woman": when you're in a relationship, married, growing your family, and all those wonderful things. 

Yet, that's not how it should be. 

This floating, this in-between, this is your time to prepare, for whatever it is that your life shall develop into, whether that's marriage, or bio-marine research, child-rearing or sky-diving (heh, you could almost say that those two things are quite similar, but that's for a different post). The point is that a grown-up is not defined by their relational status, and I know that's stating the obvious, but do we really take it to heart? I know it can be hard for at times to think, "What if it is a long time till I get married? How do I feel about that?" 

To be honest with myself, I've got to realize that I can often equate life purpose with "finally" being married. I tell these things to Mom and she laughs, "You're so young, you don't need to worry about these things!" At times like those, I make sure to refrain from mentioning the fact that at my age, she was one year away from getting married. Not so young after all. 

But I don't want this to be just another post about singleness that empowers us to view our "situation" as superior because of "all the opportunities you have as a single person" or to state it quite simply: I don't want this to be a post that puts the focus on us. Sorry, it's not about you. I should write that out on a sticky note and slap it on the mirror.

Yes, you do have opportunities as a single person, yes, it's a time of preparation...but it's something more than all of that.

I was sitting quietly, thinking about something of insignificance which I cannot currently recall, and all of the sudden I had a picture in my mind: I was in a park, filled with green and flowing tree branches, the breeze made the warm day a perfect temperature. I was dancing. First it was just me, dancing joyously and gracefully, and then there was someone else, Someone else, to be exact. I was dancing with Jesus, and the joy of it was more than all the beauty around me and more than the joy that could come from any other love, for standing to the side was some indistinct man who was my husband. He looked on while He and I danced, and I understood singleness and marriage in a different light. Because now I see that, what this heart really craves, and what His heart most desires, is to let me dance with Him first. Rather than give away this time to wishful thinking and daydreams, it's a time to be spent dancing with the One that has already claimed my heart. And this doesn't stop after I'm married...for if a husband truly cares for his wife, then he will see that the best thing he can do for her is to allow her to dance with Jesus first.

Whatever season of life I'm in, I don't want to miss His invitation to me, His beckoning to dance. For the One who lived, died, and rose again to conquer death with immortal love is worthy of all that I can give. And right now, I can give my first dance.