Angel Phone Calls

It's been a November 13th kind of day. 

The kind of day that starts with sadness, seems to get better and then goes down hill.

But God's love is so overwhelming that even now I am choking back tears of gratitude, repentance, and overflowing love for my Savior. The Savior that sent me my angel phone call.

I was sitting on the couch, trying to get into one of the last chapters in A Tale of Two Cities, a book I've been reading in my spare time. As I read it though, every word seemed to be overcome by a thought of despair, shame and worry.

Hopes, dreams, and stability had all come crashing down. But nothing had changed. And that's what's aggravating. The worst part of it all, was that God had shown me in quite a few ways today already that He is bigger than it all and He will provide. I don't know why I still succumbed to desperate thoughts though, even after He showed me scripture (Jeremiah 31:17) and even after He brought encouragement. But I did.

You know what though? God doesn't give up on me. He didn't walk away and go,

"Oh Maryah...she's not listening today, so I'm going to go on to the next despairing damsel."

No. He was persistent. He is perfect love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 

God's love is all of that. And when I was doubting Him...when I questioned things that are going on in my life right now, He called me. Actually, a man with an Indian accent called me from an 800 number. A call that we almost didn't pick up.

So I was sitting at the couch, absorbed in my own problems and wondering why they had to ruin so much, when the phone rang. Isaac looked at the number, being an 800 number he wasn't going to pick it up, "Should I get it?"
Mom: "No."
Me: "You might as well."

He looked at it. It rang one of it's last demanding rings. Andrew picked it up. And then a moment or two later, "Maryah, it's for you." I put the phone to my ear, a distant voice came through.

It was a man from Global Expeditions, a teen mission organization that I had inquired into. Even though I'm actually quite interested in another missions trip done by Global Encounters, (especially since it's much cheaper), I thought I should at least show some interest.

He was asking if I had any questions about any of the trips. I said that I had received the information and was at the moment just praying and considering. I thought it was funny that I was getting a call from them, simply because Mom had basically said just 5 minutes before that she wasn't sure on anything, and the possibility of a missions trip was growing dimmer.

Anyway, then this kind man asked me if there was anything he could pray about. I was real. "Well, financially, I don't think it would work...so you could pray about that." And he did. He lifted his voice (though I still had to press my ear to the phone to hear him) to the Lord and his prayer, though probably something written out to every employee to pray for each teen was perhaps the most touching and awakening thing I'd heard all day. 

Not only did he pray about finances, but he prayed about faith, and that my heart would continue to grow for God, that in the morning and in the evening and all day I would have faith.

Faith.

One thing I've definitely been lacking today.

And so I thanked him and hung up. And I was about to cry, when I recalled another verse from Jeremiah 31, verse 16. "Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded, declares the Lord." 

So instead I went, "Wow. He was like an angel." And so I'm calling him my angel. The angel with the Indian accent that called me on the phone and prayed for me about faith right when I was at the bottom of my faith barrel and tumbling. I still have a lot of questions, and even some worries...but I also have faith and a God that loves me enough to call me on the phone right when I was at my worst. 

Praise God that the phone rang and that it was answered. Praise God that I can be at my worst and He can come and turn it all around...maybe not circumstantially (yet) but definitely perspectively. I also am thankful that my good friend through CollegePlus has finally gotten the job of her dreams, and that we do have money for my CLEP this Friday and most of all, that I have a God of love.