Something like Summer
I strum a chord on the guitar over and over again until I realize that I'm not paying attention to my playing and my F bar chord had become a non-existent "whoa" chord. My thoughts were on something else.
Something like Summer.
Isn't it weird how we look back at a season recently passed and can say to ourselves, "I had no idea that that was gonna happen," or, "I'm completely different ever since then"?
I really wasn't expecting school to be like this. And I almost am begging for Summer. Not the season exactly, but more like it's constituents: no school, and no school, and umm, no school.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be doing this. Yes, graduating with my bachelors degree at 17 WILL be good. But the problem is that I don't feel like I'm working hard on a bachelor's degree. I feel like I'm working hard, but I don't see what I'm working for.
And then sometimes I do. Sometimes I see what it is that I'm working for, but it's hard to picture.
But that's besides the point. The point is...I really need God to help me through this. And God's great in the way that He's always providing for me.
I really appreciate the little things...like how I can play the guitar now (thanks JoJo!), or how I can use a power saw (while building a chick coop), or how Christina let Jonathan and I do rapid fire complaints about school just to get it out of our systems. And after that we got up from the table and felt much better. The stress of college isn't something that I think the two of us were anticipating, like.. six months ago....but here it is! And here's God. He's always here.
Even when you about fall asleep on your desk, or spend an hour on Algebra rather than the usual 30 minutes. Or even when...even when you don't feel anything, and your just numb. Numb to it all. And crazy questions like, "do I really need to pray?" pop into your head.
O, little girl. Sweet little girl. I've always liked the way that Jesus said, "Oh ye of little faith!"
Why do I like that so much? Probably because to me it's like He's saying, "Oh Maryah!"
Oh ye of little faith = Maryah.
But I know that God is working and He won't ever let go of me...I just need to be sure that I don't let go of Him.
I suppose that this all is just a golden opportunity to grow in Christ. I mean, why not?
Why not rely COMPLETELY on Him when you feel like you've got nothing else?
Why not?
Press harder into Jesus.
I rub my fingers up and down the strings on the guitar. I think I'm going to make a few resolutions for this week.
#1. Focus on Jesus. That means pray when you're discouraged and overwhelmed.
#2. Remember the songs "Breathe Your Name" by Sixpence None the Richer and "Strong Enough" by Matthew West.
#3. Don't stress out about school, hey, you've come a ways so don't give up. You can do this. :)
And I just want to let you guys know that there's nothing quite like writing a post to help me get things figured out. It's right up there with prayer and Bible time. I'm not completely helpless. I've got my Jesus. And think, sometime in three years I'll look back and be like, "Oh wow, here I am!" Haha, I wonder what that will be like. Meanwhile, I'll take things one week at a time. And get studying for my CLEP next week!!! :D
Something like Summer.
Isn't it weird how we look back at a season recently passed and can say to ourselves, "I had no idea that that was gonna happen," or, "I'm completely different ever since then"?
I really wasn't expecting school to be like this. And I almost am begging for Summer. Not the season exactly, but more like it's constituents: no school, and no school, and umm, no school.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be doing this. Yes, graduating with my bachelors degree at 17 WILL be good. But the problem is that I don't feel like I'm working hard on a bachelor's degree. I feel like I'm working hard, but I don't see what I'm working for.
And then sometimes I do. Sometimes I see what it is that I'm working for, but it's hard to picture.
But that's besides the point. The point is...I really need God to help me through this. And God's great in the way that He's always providing for me.
I really appreciate the little things...like how I can play the guitar now (thanks JoJo!), or how I can use a power saw (while building a chick coop), or how Christina let Jonathan and I do rapid fire complaints about school just to get it out of our systems. And after that we got up from the table and felt much better. The stress of college isn't something that I think the two of us were anticipating, like.. six months ago....but here it is! And here's God. He's always here.
Even when you about fall asleep on your desk, or spend an hour on Algebra rather than the usual 30 minutes. Or even when...even when you don't feel anything, and your just numb. Numb to it all. And crazy questions like, "do I really need to pray?" pop into your head.
O, little girl. Sweet little girl. I've always liked the way that Jesus said, "Oh ye of little faith!"
Why do I like that so much? Probably because to me it's like He's saying, "Oh Maryah!"
Oh ye of little faith = Maryah.
But I know that God is working and He won't ever let go of me...I just need to be sure that I don't let go of Him.
I suppose that this all is just a golden opportunity to grow in Christ. I mean, why not?
Why not rely COMPLETELY on Him when you feel like you've got nothing else?
Why not?
Press harder into Jesus.
I rub my fingers up and down the strings on the guitar. I think I'm going to make a few resolutions for this week.
#1. Focus on Jesus. That means pray when you're discouraged and overwhelmed.
#2. Remember the songs "Breathe Your Name" by Sixpence None the Richer and "Strong Enough" by Matthew West.
#3. Don't stress out about school, hey, you've come a ways so don't give up. You can do this. :)
And I just want to let you guys know that there's nothing quite like writing a post to help me get things figured out. It's right up there with prayer and Bible time. I'm not completely helpless. I've got my Jesus. And think, sometime in three years I'll look back and be like, "Oh wow, here I am!" Haha, I wonder what that will be like. Meanwhile, I'll take things one week at a time. And get studying for my CLEP next week!!! :D
Beautiful post Maryah! so now you are going to college? :)
ReplyDeleteand you know what I do have same thought, I love that scripture, oh hay little faith? I feel like He says that to me. I am kinda person who worried to much, and last night He confirmed me again in ! Peter 5:7, grab your Bible and read it.
Will be praying for you!
Yes, I am doing highschool and college at the same time. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you SO much for that scripture! That is awesome, I just read that same verse last night...so cool!!! I love it. Thank you!