The Passion Inside of Me

I stepped out onto the balcony and sat in our white adirondack chart, propped my tired feet up onto the coffee table, and watched the sunlight on the hillside fade away. A tiny bird flew through the air, yet it did not fly in a simple straight line, it swooped and fluttered, doing glamorous twists and turns till it made me begin to wonder if it was enjoying itself. I could picture myself in it's place, wanting the exhilarating feel of flapping hard, hard, hard, and then *swoosh*, my stomach falls as I make a downward slope and let my wings catch the air. Up I go again, and down, once more I dive. Eventually it flew out of sight, but not out of my mind.

I couldn't understand it. When I had been dancing on the stage earlier in the evening I could not explain how happy I was. How joyful it made me to be doing dance for God. I didn't care who else was watching us, it was for the Lord and I couldn't stop smiling. How is it that I enjoy that so very much? It is such a huge part of me, yet I only see it a few times a year. It's a passion, a passion to perform for the One who created me. 

The bird, in it's mammalian instinct put on a performance for an audience of One. I just so happened to be watching and took notice. Likewise, I want to be living, performing (and by performing, I don't mean pretending...I mean giving out a part of who you are to an audience and allowing them to be made glad by it), to the glory of God. I think dance is a marvelous way to do that, yet it comes in other forms as well. 

As I thought about it, I wondered how I could translate that passion into every other area of my life. It's hard, because there are some Mondays, Thursdays, and a lot of any-old-days, that I don't know the exact steps to. I can't count out the moves that I'm supposed to make when faced with a difficult situation. But I can rely on God. I can smile and praise Him irregardless of whether or not I know how to "dance" through the day. 

Because the truth is, you can dance as well as you want, but if you don't put your soul into it, it won't truly shine. Performing for the Lord is about taking something in your heart and pushing it towards Him. Mrs. Bowman, the dance teacher, called it heart-pushes. In everything I do, I want to be doing heart-pushes towards Him. 

The song for one of the group dances has a verse that says:

"My desire, is to lift You higher

It's only burning brighter

   This passion inside of me."

(Dance by Planetshakers)

And that's exactly what it is: a desire to lift Christ higher, a passion that burns brighter and longs to glorify Him. It can be discouraging because I stumble so much, yet surrounded by so very many girls this week was very uplifting and I look forward to growing in Jesus. 

When I was a teeny tiny tot, one of the bible verses that my Mom taught me was 1 John 4:19, and it says, "We love because He first loved us." How true. Nothing that I do, none of my own love, will ever get me anywhere. I love because of the love that He has pursued me with and that love is also within me. 

Everyone needs to see that love and they see it through our dances. Your dance might be paperwork deliveries, laundry and dishes, landscaping, food service, or teeth cleaning. Or maybe it's actually dancing. Whatever your dance is, let the passion to lift Christ higher be what is burning inside of you. And don't ever stop dancing.