Finding Gravity

We sat upon the bench, waiting for what seemed an eternity. It was a hot and sticky day at the beach and we had decided to go to the boardwalk to check out the rides and shops. Honestly, rides and shops aren't my thing, I'm more of a nature girl, but I was hopeful that we'd at least have a little fun. 

However...

Waiting with those headaches that come from too much glare and too little sleep made me feel like walking all the way back to our beach house and collapsing on the sofa to take a nap with the baby. 

If I could nap that is. I'm not much of a napper. 

But a nap would be preferred compared to this waiting! 

Holly and I sat silently beside each other and watched the people get on the rides. I didn't actually see a lot of happy people. They were probably thinking like I was: "Swimming would be so much nicer than this." Since we all had to agree on one of the rides, I spotted the one that looked least stomach-hurling and suggested it. The pendulum ride was my choice and everyone agreed to it so we waited for Kara (Holly's older sister) to pay the parking meter while Marc (Kara's boyfriend) bought our tickets. 

Eventually the eternity ended and we were finally boarding the boat. Safety bar in place, the ride commenced. At first it swung up and down innocently, but that soon changed. As it reached greater and greater heights, I began to question the secureness of that safety bar...especially when I felt as if I could slip out of it. 

As it progressed I found myself needing to scream because it was the only way to express the emotions I had. It was terror that knew it was going to be okay. It was also the kind of terror that is filled with the fun that being swung through the air can cause. Somewhere near the top, I began to wonder if it would ever stop going up--everything thing seemed to be in the air, uncertainty all around, and all I could do was scream while I held onto the safety bar...of course I told myself it was fun, and of course it began to lower, but for a few moments, I could relish the pure panic that screamed, "this is going to be okay, but I still want to freak out!!!"

As soon as we hopped off, I felt that slaphappy feeling of delight and that rush of adrenaline that says, "let's do it again!" but instead we went to the bumper cars where Kirk rode. 

That was in August and I'm not at the boardwalk and neither is it hot and humid. But I find myself experiencing that ride all over again. Except now it's even more perilous, because I feel like someone put anti-gravity solution into my world and nothing is sticking. There's nothing solid, nothing secure...except for that safety bar of course. 

I knew I could trust the safety bar during that pendulum ride, even if I didn't feel like I could. And it's quite similar now: I know I can trust God with the crazy, even though I don't necessarily feel that I can. I had clutched onto the safety bar as if it was my life, and now I am clutching onto God for He is my life. 

One could be tempted to say, "I don't like this, let me off!" but when your world goes anti-gravity and you swing higher and higher, you begin to find your true gravity. 

On Christ the solid rock, I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. 

So though I don't necessarily like the whole floating business because it's a little uncomfortable and I don't feel secure at all, I also find it to be a blessing. Why? Because I realize my need for Him and I get to hold onto Him. I get to find my gravity in Him. What a privilege! 

I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' Name. 

Leaves are falling all around me, Ebola is spreading across the country, and honestly, if you wanted to shout out all the topsy-turvy words in the world, then they'd be the most accurate depiction of my life right now. Yet in my topsy-turvy, He remains. And it's good to know that He's in control.