Convergence
"God is in control," how many times has this phrase been used to comfort the downhearted and despairing? It can be supremely comforting, yet it can also be a cause for fear. This is a confession: though at certain times I find much courage from this truth, when it really counts (i.e. when circumstances are out of my grasp), the fact of God's sovereign control on the universe can be daunting. Perplexing. Almost a little scary.
Why? Not because God is not in control, but because my view of God can often distort what it means for Him to be the One in control. If I see God as Someone out to get me and make me suffer rather than a loving Father who wants what's best for me, then of course I am going to dislike Him being in control.
There are thoughts within us that we don't even allow ourselves to acknowledge.
And little as I like to admit it to myself, at times, I have those type of feelings towards God. I will say that He is in control and secretly wish that He was not, for "what if He does something I don't like?"
Today is an ordinary day. I wasn't expecting anything. Yet today, He dispersed those fears the same way that the leaf-blower dispersed the accumulated leaves in our yard yesterday. Unlike those leaves though, He has completely obliterated them--they are not piled up somewhere else.
Because today I discovered in truth that not only is God in control, but He is also faithful. And this faithfulness is loving and full of a desire to give me good things.
This is a three part story. Let's start with the first thread:
I have a good friend who I have only actually seen perhaps 4 times. She lives in Michigan now and last I saw her, I believe I was 10 years old. We kept correspondence for a bit but it then dwindled to nothing. Fast forward to last Winter, I could not get her off of my mind, so I dug around for her address, wrote a letter and prayed it would find her well.
Since then we have written many letters back and forth, no doubt we still picture each other as our ten-year-old selves, but that does not matter. What matters is that she a wonderful friend and each of her letters is a breath of fresh Michigan air. She wrote me a letter postmarked on the 20th of October. Our mail box is at a different address than our home address, so we occasionally have to go and check the mail at the UPS store. This doesn't happen often. Perhaps once every two weeks. The letter sat in the mail box without my knowledge.
The second thread:
One of my dearest friends also sent me a letter. She and I have been friends for years and seeing as we lived five minutes from one another, we were playmates year-round. Now that we've moved I only see her and her sister occasionally, but it is always a joy. In between visits we will email each other and write letters. She has better handwriting than I do. She wrote a letter postmarked on the 17th of October. This too sat in the mail box at the UPS store.
The third thread:
I woke up this morning much discouraged. My nights are usually filled with pleasant sleep, yet in the subconscious of my dreams (yes, I know that's redundant), I felt a vague sense of unease. Being quite dark when I awoke, I kindled a fire and coaxed it into flame, much to the endangerment of my hair and clothing (I don't know what it is with me and fires but perhaps I should not be pouring liquid charcoal fire starter onto fires that often). Fire successfully burning (and everything else miraculously unburnt), I spent some time in prayer. I was a little discouraged because sometimes I feel that I have no clue which way to turn. There are a few options open right now for my future and I am overwhelmed at deciding which one is best for me. How am I to know? So instead I turn to God.
He doesn't always give the most definitive answers, but they are decisive. And lest you think that I am contradicting myself in that statement, what I mean is that He speaks very clearly, but He doesn't always say, "You are to go there and do this and that exactly like I just told you."
He does sometimes. But not all the time.
No, instead He focuses us on the real matter at hand. And for me, it was this: that I am to delight myself in Him and He will give me the desires of my heart. It is such an overused verse that I find I sometimes shy away from it. But it still speaks truth and so I left it at that: I will delight myself in You and You will be faithful.
The day dawned and grew. Clouds moved in to cover the sunrise.
The night before, Dad had gotten the mail from the mailbox. Within it were two letters both addressed to me and sent from the two aforementioned friends. As it was late and I was busy reading Les Misérables, I set them aside to read later and went to bed without another thought of them. This morning I beheld them stacked on the chair where I had been the night before and after finishing school, I eagerly opened them to relish in lovely, tangible snail mail.
Call it coincidence, call it divine. I call it God's faithfulness to those who love Him. Both letters contained explicit writings of Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart," along with encouragement to trust in the Lord for wisdom, to see His beauty in the chaining seasons and know that He is watching over me.
It may seem nothing to another, but for me it was overwhelming. Both of these letters could have come to me at different times, yet they did not. Both of them could have been brought to me a week ago, yet they were not. And I could have read both of them yesterday, before God's early morning promise to be faithful to me, and yet I did not.
They provided the encouragement that I needed, right when I needed it, and the realization that not only is God in control, but He is also faithful and loving.
Why? Not because God is not in control, but because my view of God can often distort what it means for Him to be the One in control. If I see God as Someone out to get me and make me suffer rather than a loving Father who wants what's best for me, then of course I am going to dislike Him being in control.
There are thoughts within us that we don't even allow ourselves to acknowledge.
And little as I like to admit it to myself, at times, I have those type of feelings towards God. I will say that He is in control and secretly wish that He was not, for "what if He does something I don't like?"
Today is an ordinary day. I wasn't expecting anything. Yet today, He dispersed those fears the same way that the leaf-blower dispersed the accumulated leaves in our yard yesterday. Unlike those leaves though, He has completely obliterated them--they are not piled up somewhere else.
Because today I discovered in truth that not only is God in control, but He is also faithful. And this faithfulness is loving and full of a desire to give me good things.
This is a three part story. Let's start with the first thread:
I have a good friend who I have only actually seen perhaps 4 times. She lives in Michigan now and last I saw her, I believe I was 10 years old. We kept correspondence for a bit but it then dwindled to nothing. Fast forward to last Winter, I could not get her off of my mind, so I dug around for her address, wrote a letter and prayed it would find her well.
Since then we have written many letters back and forth, no doubt we still picture each other as our ten-year-old selves, but that does not matter. What matters is that she a wonderful friend and each of her letters is a breath of fresh Michigan air. She wrote me a letter postmarked on the 20th of October. Our mail box is at a different address than our home address, so we occasionally have to go and check the mail at the UPS store. This doesn't happen often. Perhaps once every two weeks. The letter sat in the mail box without my knowledge.
The second thread:
One of my dearest friends also sent me a letter. She and I have been friends for years and seeing as we lived five minutes from one another, we were playmates year-round. Now that we've moved I only see her and her sister occasionally, but it is always a joy. In between visits we will email each other and write letters. She has better handwriting than I do. She wrote a letter postmarked on the 17th of October. This too sat in the mail box at the UPS store.
The third thread:
I woke up this morning much discouraged. My nights are usually filled with pleasant sleep, yet in the subconscious of my dreams (yes, I know that's redundant), I felt a vague sense of unease. Being quite dark when I awoke, I kindled a fire and coaxed it into flame, much to the endangerment of my hair and clothing (I don't know what it is with me and fires but perhaps I should not be pouring liquid charcoal fire starter onto fires that often). Fire successfully burning (and everything else miraculously unburnt), I spent some time in prayer. I was a little discouraged because sometimes I feel that I have no clue which way to turn. There are a few options open right now for my future and I am overwhelmed at deciding which one is best for me. How am I to know? So instead I turn to God.
He doesn't always give the most definitive answers, but they are decisive. And lest you think that I am contradicting myself in that statement, what I mean is that He speaks very clearly, but He doesn't always say, "You are to go there and do this and that exactly like I just told you."
He does sometimes. But not all the time.
No, instead He focuses us on the real matter at hand. And for me, it was this: that I am to delight myself in Him and He will give me the desires of my heart. It is such an overused verse that I find I sometimes shy away from it. But it still speaks truth and so I left it at that: I will delight myself in You and You will be faithful.
The day dawned and grew. Clouds moved in to cover the sunrise.
The night before, Dad had gotten the mail from the mailbox. Within it were two letters both addressed to me and sent from the two aforementioned friends. As it was late and I was busy reading Les Misérables, I set them aside to read later and went to bed without another thought of them. This morning I beheld them stacked on the chair where I had been the night before and after finishing school, I eagerly opened them to relish in lovely, tangible snail mail.
Call it coincidence, call it divine. I call it God's faithfulness to those who love Him. Both letters contained explicit writings of Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart," along with encouragement to trust in the Lord for wisdom, to see His beauty in the chaining seasons and know that He is watching over me.
It may seem nothing to another, but for me it was overwhelming. Both of these letters could have come to me at different times, yet they did not. Both of them could have been brought to me a week ago, yet they were not. And I could have read both of them yesterday, before God's early morning promise to be faithful to me, and yet I did not.
They provided the encouragement that I needed, right when I needed it, and the realization that not only is God in control, but He is also faithful and loving.
This is sooo awesome! Thanks for sharing, it's what I needed to hear, too!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, I'm glad that the Lord could use it to encourage you!
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